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Jamaican AG furious Over Rainbow in Sky; Calls on God to Respect Their Laws

The Attorney General of Jamaica Marlene Malahoo Forte says Jamaican culture is being threatened by a rainbow in the sky. And now, she is calling on God to remove the rainbow, because it disrespects Jamaican laws.

The Late O’Clock News contacted the Jamaican AG and tried to inform her that a rainbow is actually a meteorological phenomenon caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets; to which she responded, ‘fire bun sodomite science dem’.

So we attempted to work within the realm of her logic and asked her how she could tell God what exactly he can or can not put in his sky.

She responded by explaining that God and Jamaica had a special understanding.

“Every Jamaican wants nothing more than to be able to go to heaven and once there, we will obey the laws of heaven. But until then, pasa pasa and fire bun batty man is the law of the land. To God I say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

We asked her how exactly she would cope with the abundance of rainbows in the sky if she gets to go to heaven. To this she responded that she’d already developed coping mechanisms from watching how the new generation of dance hall artistes dress. However, she wanted to make it clear that this did not mean there were any gays in Jamaica.

“The only battyman it have in Jamaica is foreigners but Jamaicans dress so loudly no one can really tell who’s who. if everyone look a little suspect, then you can’t suspect nobody.”

Meanwhile in T&T, Prime Minister Dr. Keith Rowley was asked to comment on the Jamaican AG’s dispute with God. While he refused to use the word ‘rainbow’, he did say that he sympathises with God in the matter.

 

 

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11 comments

  1. I am alarmed that people comment do not understand satire and see the absolute brilliance of this piece. Lawd help us. This is truly well written!

  2. Not a smart politician, not the first time she put her foot in her mouth… Not suited for that particular position is not experience enough… Delroy Chuck should get that position.. Monique another in qualify post… Al ot of gay in Jamaica in sheep skin, so what the problem and they are highly professional… She fe talk bout crime and guns and the source of guns coming on the Island, that should be her business, so Monique can come out of hiding/ closet.

  3. For those who do not know the rainbow was place in the sky as a symbol that ever time we see it it would remind us that God would not destroy the whole earth by a flood again. The LGBT has show very gross disrespect and took the colours of the rainbow and use it as their symbol. God is just reminding us he is not dead he is very much alive and is looking at what is going on in the world and he will destroy this world again but not with a flood but with fire. Be ready God is coming soon.

  4. lol……what about the multi color ice cream…..we fi dash it wey too? Out of many one people…..that is what the rainbow symbolize….she is truly a laughing stock.

  5. I found the article funny as the writer was just being satirical…..was it illegal for the US embassy to fly the flag though? Is this flag illegal in Jamaica? ….still find it funny since I do not see the big deal………I sympathisize with the persons that loss their lives in the Orlando incident….whether or not they are sinners….as we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God….God sent Jonah to Ninive.

  6. HTF this ignant hoe came into public office ? Let’s see the bitch knees cuz she had 2 b giving dome fi get di job. Its hate and ignorance of demon possessed pussyclaat goat face renk hoes such as her why JA can’t move ahead in global business and change, because dumb Oes like her a block progress. Impeach her Now!!

  7. The Bible says the wheat and the Tares must grow together until the day of Harvest. In the meantime be kind to one another and pray you are not bundled with the Tares come Harvest day.

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