The Attorney General of Jamaica Marlene Malahoo Forte says Jamaican culture is being threatened by a rainbow in the sky. And now, she is calling on God to remove the rainbow, because it disrespects Jamaican laws.
The Late O’Clock News contacted the Jamaican AG and tried to inform her that a rainbow is actually a meteorological phenomenon caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets; to which she responded, ‘fire bun sodomite science dem’.
So we attempted to work within the realm of her logic and asked her how she could tell God what exactly he can or can not put in his sky.
She responded by explaining that God and Jamaica had a special understanding.
“Every Jamaican wants nothing more than to be able to go to heaven and once there, we will obey the laws of heaven. But until then, pasa pasa and fire bun batty man is the law of the land. To God I say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
We asked her how exactly she would cope with the abundance of rainbows in the sky if she gets to go to heaven. To this she responded that she’d already developed coping mechanisms from watching how the new generation of dance hall artistes dress. However, she wanted to make it clear that this did not mean there were any gays in Jamaica.
“The only battyman it have in Jamaica is foreigners but Jamaicans dress so loudly no one can really tell who’s who. if everyone look a little suspect, then you can’t suspect nobody.”
Meanwhile in T&T, Prime Minister Dr. Keith Rowley was asked to comment on the Jamaican AG’s dispute with God. While he refused to use the word ‘rainbow’, he did say that he sympathises with God in the matter.